As I haven't written a blog entry for months now and am constantly getting annoyed with myself for the complete absence of creativity in my current life situation, also have been whinging on about never writing in this neglected blog, I feel now is the time to catch up. I've been living on the out-skirts of a little-known village somewhere in rural Dorset now for just over a month working in a posh hotel owned by the Ferguson family (the boss always seems to catch me when I'm doing naughty work un-related things like stealing scones and helping myself to orange juice) and even though to the casual reader this might not sound like a very exciting and exhausting way of life it actually really really is oh...and I'm having the best time. I returned from London last night from a two day excursion with 'The Mel', Mel is my New Zealand soul sister, basically she is me but born and raised in NZ and slightly taller, not only because of our parallel personalities but we even have a very similar facial features which I only realised two days ago. We bond over our love for flight of the conchords, I-Spy, Kate Nash sing-alongs and generally all things quirky and just a matching downright eccentric sense of humour.
Since being in Dorset, the land of Enid Blyton and all things twee and 'English' I have never before found myself in such a bizarre situation, one day I'll be partaking in a Sangria party, 40 litres of home-made Sangria in big white tubs, with all my friends and work-mates down at the beach having hilarious improvised sing-alongs to a ukulele about mash potatoes (we're given far too many potatoes in various forms here) then the next day I could be having Dorset cream tea - tea and scones, in a girly floral dress and a quaint little barn & stables converted into tea rooms. Then the next having a traditional tea party in celebration of the Royal Wedding in the courtyard, adorned in triangular Union Jack flags, meanwhile I'm sitting amonst my Spanish, English and Latvian workmates taking advantage of the free Pimms and Champagne on offer (they weren't very clever to offer me free alcohol between my working shifts). Not only am I having more parties than in my regular life, I also seem to be having more picnics than the norm here, always a good thing,...and making lots of daisy chains
Also hitchhiking, being in the middle of nowhere with seldom and expensive buses it's necessary to do the occasional hitchhike using a sign displaying our intended destination in lipstick, last week and kind old gentleman picked up Becky, Mel and I he told us his life story how he was an ex-nuclear scientist and he had fled to England back during the USSR days to escape from the communist regime and the government. It sounds far-fetched but the detail and conviction of this man's story led me to have no doubts about the sincerity of his claim! So that was a pretty awesome chance meeting with an interesting stranger, there was one point when I thought we had got into the car of a delusional madman but that's usually what one might expect getting into a car with a man with a Ukrainian accent who starts to tell you he's a nuclear physician.
Back in London, we spent most of our time floating dreamily around the labyrinth of the Camden markets in awe, we had strawberry flavoured sheesha at this little Moroccan place where we sat outside surrounded by Arabic decor, purple velvet cushions and silk patterned throws, over-looking Cyber-dog where all sorts of neon coated creatures and men with rainbow Mohican's were hanging out, and sat and smoked watching the diverse array of people zoom by.
We had yummy and probably heart attack-inducing Chinese food for lunch, then proceeded to wander around the markets. In a shop called 'The Curiosity shop', a shop bearing resemblance to Aladdin's cave, filled every square inch with vintage postcards, antique cameras, trinkets and delights, handmade necklaces, peculiar retro objects, dusty old porcelain dolls and I was served by a nice lady who was dressed like some kind of pantomime dame, where I bought a handmade glow in the dark horse necklace and a vintage NYC postcard which I just quite liked the look of. I could of spent hours in that shop browsing the unique assortment of wonders but there is too much to see and too little time!
After this I had a panic buy from H&M for a nigh time outfit, which included a tie-dye skirt and a little side bag. We eventually dragged ourselves away from the markets and headed towards our hostel on the Northern line at Belsize park, in a lovely tall white townhouse. We were, for some reason, upgraded to a private and large room in the hostel where we drank elderflower wine and did a bit of girly prep for the night ahead. We headed to Angel randomly and came across a nice little Irish bar where a band was playing and a strange chalk outline of a dead body was drawn on the floor and a large section of the bar was cordoned off, weird huh? but cool and different. then when we were done in there headed onwards to the next pub, on the way a strange little Irish man called Declan started commenting on my tie-dye skirt and from there we got chatting and got an invite to the Hawley Arms (it's all about the Arms) in which we had more drinks and were chatting to Declan and his tall friend who I forgot the name of. During one of Mel's filming episodes where she was filming me dancing round like a drunken lunatic, showing off my horse and generally me being an embracing moron, a handsome chap came over and we were chatting to him, then suddenly we became like magnets for all kinds of weird characters, some Mancunian dude came over holding a milk carton filled with booze and tried to get me to drink from it, it was a humourous situation nonetheless, then some other guy who was actually really good looking, started chatting to us (he was trying to get us to go to Proud Camden which is where we were going anyway) but then proceeded to tell us the story of how he nearly got captured by the Jesus bus and they tried to make him part of their cult.
Then after this episode we found the club, had a good night blah blah, Mel got conned into buying a glow stick for 50p from the woman in the toilets. Why would you sell glowsticks in a toilet? On the way home (this is the best bit) we noticed a long furry monkey looking object laid carefully across the floor as though it was asking to be found. It turned out to be a monkey suit and the rest of the evening gen rally revolved around us prancing around at 3 in the morning on the streets playing with the monkey and also found car tyres...and climbing on people's motorbikes. We then met 3 French guys, one of whom had his number pre-written on slips of paper which he gave to me and one for Mel (I found this hilarious) we tried to practise our French but failed, in between many kisses on the cheek, he then serenaded us with Edith Piaf on request and did a pretty cool rap, I think his mates were embarrassed with him, no idea what he was saying but it was an interesting and unforgettable situation. The next day was yet another gorgeously sunny day. We headed to Trafalgar Square above a wonderful blue sky and had croissants and frappachino overlooking the lions, fountains and Nelson's column, we walked across the river to the South Bank centre and came across the coolest little food street stall with an electric bunch of food stalls from all countries of the world, Poland, Spain, France, Belgium, got some free samples of Spanish breakfast and cheese, also saw a wonderful art installation called' the Lion & The Unicorn' which was a collection of poems tied on strings and some shaped as paper aeroplanes flying off into the sky.
After all the strolling, we headed to Hyde Park corner to buy some picnic supplies, on our way there we came across the Lanesbourough hotel where a crowd of people were gathered around I asked what was going on and Lady Gaga was set to make an appearance and come out of the hotel, we stood around for a bit, mainly we wanted to see what she was wearing, but then we got bored so onwards we went. So picnic supplies in tact we continued on to Hyde park and found a lovely little spot in the Rose Garden and chilled out in the sunshine for an hour or two.
We wandered around Hyde Park, I got stopped by some guys who were filming a section for the news and wanted someone to be interviewed giving an opinion on this controversial documentary that was to be released about Princess Diana's death and he wanted my opinion on whether or not I think it should be banned in this country and what the implications are of banning it! So I am soon to feature on some obscure channel no doubt! Following this we took a leisurely stroll through green park towards Buckingham Palace i.e. tourist central I think I might be in at least a hundred people's photographs and then headed for Victoria and had cupcakes and fruit juice in the most cute, girly and darling little cafe possibly in all of London - Peggy Porschen. It's all pastel pink, polka dots and ribbons and furniture resembling human size doll's house. So adorable!
And so that brings me to the end of this massively long blog post!
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